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How to Get My Girls to Understand and Enjoy Covering?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Sep 16, 2018

Question

What's the best way to get a 11 year old and 14 year old to understand why we Muslim women cover? And have them enjoy it?

Counselor

Answer


Hijab covering

In this counseling answer:

“Hijabs come in so many different shapes and sizes, let them try on different styles and select which one they prefer. Ensure that they pick one that will find comfortable and easy to put on. As you probably know yourself, some styles of hijab are easier to put on than others, so it’s also important that they pick one that they will be comfortable in so that they don’t decide against wearing it simply because they are not comfortable. ”


Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

Masha Allah, at the age of 11 and 14 it is indeed very important to learn the importance of wearing the hijab and as an adult woman you can be the best person to advise on this issue. The fact that you are reaching out for advice makes it clear that this is very important and a responsibility that you take very seriously. May Allah reward you. Certainly, as you say, getting them to enjoy and love it one of the best ways to encourage them to start doing so. There are a number of ways to go about this.

Firstly, by teaching them why we even wear hijab in the first place can be a great place to start because not only will it educate them about why this obligation is placed on us as women, but also how beautiful it can be. It can be difficult in times where others who don’t understand Islam see it as a sign of oppression, but if they are made aware of the real reason behind why we cover then they will understand why it is, in fact, quite the opposite to oppressive.

So, you might begin by simply bringing attention to the command to wear hijab in the Qur’an. That Allah says we should wear hijab, just like He said we should pray and fast and we must obey Him in wearing hijab as we do with everything else. You might also draw attention to all the beautiful women in history who wore hijab such as Maryam, Aisha, Khadijah..etc.. Women who are role models to us, women who we know Allah loved very much so it is good for us to follow in their examples. Looking to role models who wear hijab, both historically and in the present day can make the thought of wearing the hijab more appealing as they strive to be like them.


Check out this counseling video


In addition to this it is important to understand why they should wear hijab and why their role models wear the hijab. The most important reason why we wear the hijab is for modesty, that our beauty is not something to be admired by everyone, but only by those who are close to us (i.e. other women and mahram males) and that in itself is empowering.

Let them feel that what they have is special and only for the eyes of a select few people. Make them aware of potential consequences of not dressing modestly. This doesn’t necessarily have to include cases that we know as adults occur, but draw on examples that are appropriate for their age, so for example, that wouldn’t they rather people love and admire them for their inner beauty, than outer beauty? By wearing hijab, we cover our beauty to let our inward beauty shine.

In addition to teaching them why we wear hijab, you can make the process more enjoyable for them by allowing them to pick which scarves they want. Shop together, let them pick out their favorite colors, let them pick out different pins if they pick a style that requires a pin. Let them pick hijabs that will match their outfits and have a small selection to pick from.

Hijabs come in so many different shapes and sizes, let them try on different styles and select which one they prefer. Ensure that they pick one that will find comfortable and easy to put on. As you probably know yourself, some styles of hijab are easier to put on than others, so it’s also important that they pick one that they will be comfortable in so that they don’t decide against wearing it simply because they are not comfortable. Just generally empower them o have the choice over which ones they want according to their own preference.

May Allah guide you in educating these girls effectively in why they should wear the hijab and may He guide them and make it easy for them to start wearing hijab.


Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides. 

Read more:

My Daughter Is Shy of Wearing Hijab

My Teen Daughter Took off Her Hijab!




About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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