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Wearing Hijab in Defiance of My Family

Questioner

H (14_female_US)

Reply Date

Aug 16, 2018

Question

How can I start wearing the hijab? The thing is my brother and I are really religious, but my sister and parents are not. I know that when a girl starts puberty she has to start covering but I do not cover yet. I find it really hard to. Please, can you help me.

Counselor

Answer


Hijab

In this counseling answer:

•You may feel as if everyone is looking at you only and that you look strange with the hijab on. However, with time, and with greater understanding that you are pleasing Allah (SWT) by obeying Him, you will develop great confidence in yourself as a young Muslima.

•As long as your parents do not forbid you from wearing the hijab, you must continue to accord them the respect and love that they deserve as your parents.


As-Salamu `Alaikum,

It is indeed difficult for young people to be more religious than their parents. However, now that you have reached puberty, according to Islam you are held accountable as an adult. That is, unlike non-Muslim traditions, there is no intermediate phase for Muslims: one is either a child or an adult in terms of responsibilities towards Allah (SWT).

So, although it might be difficult for you and your brother to be more religious than your parents, you have to ask yourself the fundamental question: who is more deserving of my obedience? And of course, the answer is that no one deserves to obeyed more than Allah (SWT). But you knew this already!

Parents who do not practice, often feel somewhat embarrassed and somewhat threatened by their children who choose to practice Islam thoroughly. The embarrassment stems from a sense of guilt and shame that their own children have surpassed them in knowledge and practice of Islam.


Check out this counseling video


The threat stems from a false and baseless notion that the son/daughter who is practicing may not succeed in his or her career, prospects of getting married etc. That is, they related practicing Islam with being backward, which is obviously wrong!

We suggest that you befriend some young women who wear the hijab and are either close to your age or a little older.Hijab-Styles-and-Abaya-2016-for-Girls-13 They will serve as a support system for you. There are anxieties to deal with of course when you first start covering. You may feel as if everyone is looking at you only and that you look strange with the hijab on. However, with time, and with greater understanding that you are pleasing Allah (SWT) by obeying Him, you will develop great confidence in yourself as a young Muslima.

Indeed, you will become a source of support for those young sisters in your area who are still struggling with whether or not they should wear the hijab.

As long as your parents do not forbid you from wearing the hijab, you must continue to accord them the respect and love that they deserve as your parents. Even if they are not practicing, it is quite possible that Allah (SWT) will use your brother and yourself as examples to help your parents and sister to start practicing insha’allah.

Make du`aa’ for Allah (SWT) to protect you and to strengthen you in your efforts to practice Islam. And make du`aa’ for Allah (SWT) to guide your own family to practice Islam! Keep in touch.

And Allah knows best.

***

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