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Engaged In Masturbation, How to Stop?

Questioner

H (19-male-UK)

Reply Date

Mar 16, 2017

Question

As salamu `alaykum My question is about masturbation. I've engaged in this nasty habit for 2.5 years and I have developed some of the symptoms associated with it. e.g low acetylcholine levels and weak nervous system and weak erection as stated by information I've read about. I have now come to realize my grave mistake as to what big sin I've committed. My family does not know about this issue as I did not tell anyone. However, I want to stop such a bad habit and want a cure from it. As you well know modern science doesn't understand such conditions and considers it to be completely normal. Yet it is very damaging. So I've decided to embark on a healing program. I've gathered information about what supplements and diet I can take to heal my condition.I found some very good ones but I feel the biggest supplement is Allah. I know he is the only one who can truly heal me from this habit and it symptoms.But sometimes I feel weak and start to despair and feel no hope or cure for me. My prayers are up and down. I don't stick to them very well. My biggest obstacle is the Internet. It is very easy to access these things online. I know that my healing process will take a very long time. Yet I am determined to put an end to such a disastrous habit.I do not intend to gradually stop this habit as it has already given me some symptoms that regular doctors say are non-existent and they have worsened my situation over those years. Can you please advise me on what to do from here onwards. I feel great remorse and need Allah's help to get me through those symptoms and bad habits. I will abstain now and enjoy later with my future wife.

Counselor

Answer


Control

As-salamu`alaykum.

Long-term masturbation has the following effects as a result of changing the body’s chemistry:

*Over-stimulation of the nervous system causing over-production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters, e.g.,

*Lower back pain.

*Stress or anxiety.

*Thinning hair or hair loss.

*Soft or weak erection.

*Eye floaters or fuzzy vision.

*Groin or testicular pain.

*Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or tail bone or both.

*Reduced ability to be intimate and sensitive with one’s wife; one experiences premature ejaculation adding to unsatisfactory sexual relations.

Al-hamdu lillah that you have recognized that you can take control.

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah said: “Man always looks for what benefits him and what protects him from harm. However, to accomplish this, man must be able to realize what is harmful. He must then know whom he should need, trust, and love so that he can attain what is beneficial as well as to feel good about his choice. He also must know the proper and good approach that would make him achieve this goal.”

He added that this latter condition requires that man :

1-Know about harm

2-Know the ways that can be used to drive harm away

Know About Harm

You already know that masturbation is not good for you albeit makruh (disliked) and not haram when faced with no alternative. Masturbation has become a problem for you because it has become an addiction, and like all addictions, the aim is to relieve you from the discomfort of the real problem. I ask, has there been an emotional vacuum in your life that you find relief from by masturbating?
What Ways Can Be Used to Drive Harm Away?

You have endeavored to stop and you have tried to bring your masturbation to an end. You turned away from an addictive life and started praying regularly in the mosque, attending Islamic lectures, and learning how to read the Qur’an.

However, you have become quite tired and forlorn, and given the above, this is not surprising. Also, ejaculation requires ghusl (ritual bathing), so every time you find yourself masturbating, do ghusl; in this way eventually you will begin to stop if you view semen in this way.

Sometimes, having interest in something is not enough to make the experience beneficial. For example, have you ever rushed to do wudu’ (ritual ablution) and mechanically do your prayers? Let me put it another way: Have you ever found that while doing your prayers you were aware of what was going on around you and who was doing what and how? Then compare it with the times you were mentally absorbed in doing your wudu’ and presenting yourself before Allah in a state of calm and readiness to pray. Which happened more often, the mechanical praying or the praying in a state of Islam? This is the difference between full participation and simply being physically present. Can one simply be physically present in one’s life? What can one meaningfully learn in this state? Yet many of us are simply physically present in our lives along with various forms of distraction.

Which happened more often, the mechanical praying or the praying in a state of Islam? This is the difference between full participation and simply being physically present. Can one simply be physically present in one’s life? What can one meaningfully learn in this state? Yet many of us are simply physically present in our lives along with various forms of distraction. Of course you are bored and emotionally empty. Our hearts demand more than that.

Dr. Shahid Athar tells us,

The word jihad is from the Arabic root word JHD which basically means striving or struggle. The question is striving for what or a struggle for what? The struggle is of two types, one is inner and one is outer. Both have the same purpose which is to change the status quo — a status which is not in line with God’s will or not in line with nature as such, a status which causes unrest and disturbance. Thus, if there is an evil temptation for wrong doing and we struggle very hard to overcome that temptation, it is striving in the cause of God and is considered one of the best forms of jihad.

So all the attempts that you made to try to stop, I suggest you try again, but with your full participation. The world is within a grain of sand, and what if we were to examine that grain of sand and discover all the minerals and the benefit thereof? A new world would unfold, and a world is waiting for you to unfold if you just let it.

In addition, instead of sitting at home locked away in your bedroom, why not go out and discover some very beneficial youth groups or organizations that are doing some good work on a volunteer basis in your city. Physical activity at your age is very important in the release of excess energy. Living in the city i.e. away from nature presents more of a challenge for young people than in the past, particularly boys.

There are certain processes of self-development and self-understanding that remained under-developed when one grows up in the city or leads a city life. These processes are a part of the individuation-maturation process that makes one less dependent on others for ones own existence, whether that be emotional, psychological and/ physical. Simply put, city life does not the best place to mature emotionally as it the dominant laws are of it’s own making and not that of nature.

In the country in which you reside, there is lots of scope to go orienteering, mountaineering, rock-climbing and camping. I would strongly suggest this summer, that if you are able, that you consider this as a strong possibility. There are many Muslim summer camps, but keep your eyes open for a Muslim youth summer camp in S. America that is up and coming this summer!

If Allah assists you, then there is none that can overcome you, and if He forsakes you, who is there, after Him, that can help you. And on Allah should the believers rely. (Aal `Imran 3:160)

Make du`aa’.


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About Hwaa Irfan

Hwaa Irfan serves as consultant, counselor and freelance writer. She is focusing on traditional healing mechanisms as practiced in various communities, as opposed to Western healing mechanisms.

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