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Son Blames Parents for Poor Life

Questioner

L

Reply Date

Oct 08, 2017

Question

As-salamu alaikum dear counselor, I have a big problem with my youngest son he always blames his father for the poor life we are leading. The father is a civil servant and our salary almost full fills our dailylife needs. But the son accuses the father of not doing enough to improve his life and secure his future. Recently he started to even insult and curse his father, I tried to speak with him to be kind to the father and not blame him for our living condition, but to no avail. I don’t know what to do, Please help.

Counselor

Answer


In this counseling answer:

“While you and your husband have provided your son with an adequate life and sacrificed much alhamdulilah, he is spoiled and ungrateful. Please never doubt your or your husband’s efforts dear sister, you sound like wonderful parents!”


As-salamu alaykum,

I am sorry to hear your so is treating your husband this way. While you did not mention your son’s age, perhaps he needs to go on a family excursion to visit the poorest of the poor and do some charity work. I would kindly suggest getting him involved in charity work with the homeless or immigrants/refugee’s who are in desperate need.

I would make this part of his weekly routine. Insha’Allah seeing those less fortunate than him will soften his heart and give him a new view and appreciation. I would kindly suggest getting in touch with some local Islamic organizations who are doing charity work and get your son involved.

While you and your husband have provided your son with an adequate life and sacrificed much alhumdulilah, he is spoiled and ungrateful. Please never doubt your or your husband’s efforts dear sister, you sound like wonderful parents!

Lastly dear sister, his disrespect and cursing of his father is haram and should not be permitted. Should he continue, consequences should follow such as taking things away from him, grounding him as well as reminding him of Allah’s wrath should he continue this most despicable behavior. Please do draw close to Allah, be supportive of your husband as I am sure it hurts him as well.

Also make duaa to Allah for ease in this matter. You and your family are in our prayers.


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About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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