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My Little Sister Wearing Black and Nothing Else!

Questioner

S (19-female-US)

Reply Date

Feb 09, 2018

Question

As salamu 'alaykum, I am just wondering about my younger sister who is in her mid-teens. All of our family converted to Islam two years ago, and we also adopted the traditional modest Muslim way of dressing. We wear hijab, but recently, my sister started to wear only plain BLACK. Whenever she's out of school, with usually a very long hijab, she says it is the proper modest way to dress as a Muslimah. She'll refuse to wear any jewelry and make-up at all! I mean, isn't it a bit too extreme?

Counselor

Answer


black

In this counseling answer:

“some teenagers do go through a phase of wearing only black clothing, and for whatever reason that is, it is best to let your sister get on with it, and come out of this phase naturally. Added to this, as a young lady growing towards womanhood, she might feel less daunted by the prospect, by covering in the proper Islam way, that is loose and long clothing.”


As salamu ‘alaykum dear daughter,

I must say, that I am intrigued that your whole family converted to Islam, and I pray that as a family, you will grow from strength-to-strength in the arms of Islam. May enjoy the process of learning and discovery that awaits you as a family, in sha ‘Allah.

I suppose you are a lover of colors and the brightness that they can bring into your life; so this might make it difficult for to appreciate why your sister has gone black in her clothing. If you look around, you might find that some teenagers do go through a phase of wearing just black and no other color in their clothing. Be thankful that she is Muslim and not wearing tight black leather clothing and has not pierced various parts of her body to hang bits of jewelry from!

On a more serious note, as I said, some teenagers do go through a phase of wearing only black clothing, and for whatever reason that is, it is best to let your sister get on with it, and come out of this phase naturally. Added to this, as a young lady growing towards womanhood, she might feel less daunted by the prospect, by covering in the proper Islam way, that is loose and long clothing.

At the same time, certain types of Muslim clothing, like, abaya, jalabya, burkha etc., is cultural rather than Islamic. The conditions for the Islamic dress code are general, and the guidelines are:

{“O children of Adam! We have indeed sent down to you clothing to cover your shame, and (clothing) for beauty and clothing that guards (against evil); that is the best…” } (Ar-Araf 7: 26).

{“And say to the believing women that they cast down their looks and guard their private parts and do not display their ornaments except what appears thereof, and let them wear their head-covering over their bosoms, and not display their ornaments except to their husbands…” } (An-Nur 24: 31)

“O Prophet! Say to your wives and your duaghters and the women of the believers that they let down upon them their over-garments, this will be more proper, that they may be known, and thus they will not be given throuble…” ) (Al Azhab (33: 59).

“Narrated ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar: Allah’s Apostle said, ‘Allah will not look at the person who drags his garment (behind him) out of conceit”(Bukhari 7: 72 #674)

 

So be kind to your sister and patient too, especially as your family is relatively new to Islam, there will be many discoveries, and there will be times, when you will have to distinguish between cultural traditions of the Middle East, and Islam itself.


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About Hwaa Irfan

Late Hwaa Irfan, may her soul rest in peace, served as consultant, counselor and freelance writer. Her main focus was on traditional healing mechanisms as practiced in various communities, as opposed to Western healing mechanisms.

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