You are a Muslimah of five years and have recently married a Muslim man from another country who does not practice Islam to your satisfaction, but who has a good heart. You and he decided not to use any contraceptives as you did not want to hinder Allah’s giving a baby to you. After you got pregnant, you were shocked and are experiencing turmoil about being told that abortion is haram.
As you know, I cannot tell you that it is haram or halal for your situation as I am a mental health counselor, not an Islamic scholar. You are frightened to have this baby because you are not sure that your husband is the man that you want to be with. He also has some immigration issues creating a possibility that he won’t be staying in the UK.
It makes sense that you would be anxious about sharing this pregnancy with your family when you have hid your Islam for five years and even your marriage. This baby seems to be bringing up a lot of identity issues about yourself and the choices that you are making. Furthermore, it seems like you are feeling entrapped by this pregnancy as it is something that you can’t undo and are committed to whether you wanted to be or not.
I don’t know if you could get a fatwa that would allow abortion for you, especially with the embryo being so young in age; however, I think that there are some significant psychological issues that are underlying the whole issue that are bigger than the pregnancy. I really think that the pregnancy was just the trigger that set everything off. If you did go ahead with the abortion I think that you may still be in distress and might have some significant guilt about what has happened.
Having a father that is not religious but has a good heart is not something that many kids say that wish they would have never been born because of. Similarly, being a single parent is also not the end of the world and is defiantly not impossible as difficult as it may appear. I am not one to tell you what you should do about your situation or how you should feel about it. I strongly encourage you to see a mental health counselor to try to understand your emotions before making any regrettable decisions.