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Pregnant in Ramadan: To Fast or Not to Fast?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

May 20, 2018

Question

Salam Aleikom dear counselor. This will be my first Ramadan not fasting as I am pregnant. I am in my 7th month and would be afraid to risk keeping the fasting. I am really upset about it as I love Ramadan. I kind of feel like I will miss out on something by not fasting. Do you also think I should not fast? Or shall I try doing, at least, some days? Please advise me also how I could make this Ramadan beneficial even if I am not fasting? I am getting tired of pregnancy as I am growing. It is getting harder. Thank you.

Counselor

Answer


Pregnant in Ramadan: To Fast or Not to Fast?

In this counseling answer:

“Evaluate what is right for you as an individual—with the consciousness of Allah (swt) in our decision-making process. Just remember that Allah (swt) is watching you, but not in harshness – in mercy. His mercy is more than His strictness, except in the case of shirk.”


As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,

I fully understand your situation. When I was pregnant or nursing, I could not fast at all, not even one day. I would get so dizzy that I could not function at all. All I could do is lie down. So, I decided that I should not fast. One of my daughters, on the other hand, could fast, travel, breastfeed, be pregnant, all at the same time. My other two daughters could only fast every other day or every third day.

So, you see, everyone is different. You have to figure out what you are capable of by trying. Then, figure out what you feel comfortable with in terms of the health of yourself and your baby, and your life. When I could not function at all, I was not free to lie in bed all day.

If I had been, maybe I could have fasted. But I had other children, and husband and a house to take care of; I had to cook and clean, and, and, and….No other person can tell you what is right for you.

It is what is called a “relative” choice: there is no “right” and “wrong” way to define it. It is something that is between each individual and Allah (swt), according to that particular individual’s needs and capabilities. So, please enjoy living in the mercy, love, and compassion of Allah (swt).

Please do not beat yourself up over it when it is a provision for you—a blessing from Allah (swt) because Allah (swt) knows the struggles of the wife and the mother, how her body is taken from her when she is servicing her husband and children.

Our lives and even our bodies are not our own, and Allah (swt) knows it! He made it that way and provided for us—to help us with this problem. He comforts us with that provision for our sacrifices for others. So, enjoy it!

Don’t feel inadequate. Feel fulfilled in your job as a wife and mother. Please do not devalue your service to your family when you can’t do as much of the other type of ibadah (fasting, tarawih, etc.).

There are two types of worship: faith through hardship and the practices like prayer. How Allah (swt) weighs these things is in the knowledge of Allah (swt) alone, not our knowledge. All we can do is keep saying Bismillah before everything and keep trying to make the best judgment when faced with this sort of dilemma.

Evaluate what is right for you as an individual—with the consciousness of Allah (swt) in our decision-making process. Just remember that Allah (swt) is watching you, but not in harshness – in mercy. His mercy is more than His strictness, except in the case of shirk.

So, have mercy on yourself and bath in the pleasure of Allah’s (swt) love for the mother and her undying, supreme service and devotion to her children and husband.

May Allah (swt) make it easy for you!

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

As a Busy Mother, Fasting Fills Me with Dread!




About Nasira S. Abdul-Aleem

Nasira S. Abdul-Aleem, an American, has a BA in English from UC Berkeley and is about to receive an MS degree in counseling psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy - MFT) from the Western Institute for Social Research. For over ten years, Nasira worked as a psychotherapist with the general public and in addiction recovery. For the last few years, she has been a life coach specializing in interpersonal relations. Nasira also consults with her many family members who studied Islam overseas and returned to America to be Imams and teachers of Islam. Muslims often ask Nasira what psychology has to do with Islam. To this, she replies that Islam is the manifestation of a correct understanding of our psychology. Therapists and life coaches help clients figure out how to traverse the path of life as a Believer, i.e., "from darkness into light", based on Islam and given that that path is an obstacle course, according to Allah.

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