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He Asked: “Why Do I Need to Fast in Ramadan?”

11 March, 2024
Q Salaams counselor,

This Ramadan I'm planning to get my 8-year- old son to fast insha'Allah. But while we are talking he asked me "Why do I have to fast in Ramadan when I'm still a kid?"

I need your advice, what is the best answer I can give to his on such a question. Thank you!

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•You may explain that by starting to fast now-even for short periods, he will begin to get used to fasting and may even enjoy it as it pleases Allah and has so many blessings.

•You may wish to implement a partial day fast for him and let him build up to a full day as he is able.

•Let your son determine the times and lengths he will fast.

•Provide social support by connecting him with his peers who are trying out fasting (online), create an environment wherein he feels comfortable fasting, and praise him for his efforts.


Ramadan Mubarak sister,

Shokran for writing to our live session. Your son actually does not have to start fasting in Ramadan until he is of puberty age. However, if you would like to get him to use to fasting at this age, you may wish to explain to him why we fast, the benefits of fasting as well as the obligation we have to do so as Muslims.

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According to AboutIslam (1) “full knowledge should be shared about the etiquettes of fasting like observing good behavior, helping the needy, avoiding excess talking or use of abusive language, offering prayers on time besides others. A clear understanding should be given on the importance of Suhur and Iftar as well.”

Teaching Children to Pleae Allah

You may wish to get some children’s books that are age-appropriate to read with him. You may explain that by starting to fast now-even for short periods, he will begin to get used to fasting and may even enjoy it as it pleases Allah and has so many blessings.

He Asked: "Why Do I Need to Fast in Ramadan?" - About Islam

Support and Tips-other Children Fasting

If there are other children fasting, you may wish to see if there is an online group of kids who are meeting (with a moderator of course)-to discuss Islam and their fasting experiences.

Partial Day Fasts

You may wish to implement a partial day fast for him and let him build up to a full day as he is able. Ideally, having him get up with the family for Suhoor and starting his fast then will prepare him well for the day both physically and spiritually. However, if he choses a different schedule I would kindly suggest letting him decide.


Check out this counseling video


Letting your Child Choose

I would kindly recommend insha’Allah that you let your son determine the times and lengths he will fast. By letting him choose, he may develop a stronger bond with fasting. If you force him or deny him a choice at this point, he may become turned away from the concept of fasting.

Conclusion

As fasting is not obligatory for your son yet-your goal insha’Allah is to educate him spiritually as well as physically (health benefits).  Provide social support by connecting him with his peers who are trying out fasting (online), create an environment wherein he feels comfortable fasting, and praise him for his efforts.

By praising him for his efforts even though it may fall short from what you may wish for-you are giving him the confidence to go a little longer the next day! 

We wish you both the best.

1. https://aboutislam.net/family-life/moms-dads/easing-kids-ramadan-fasting-steps/

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.