Should I Divorce For the Sake of My Kids? | About Islam
Home > Ask About Parenting > Raising Positive Children > Should I Divorce For the Sake of My Kids?

Should I Divorce For the Sake of My Kids?

Questioner

N

Reply Date

Apr 07, 2018

Question

My husband and I are having marital problems. we often discus divorce and separation. We argue a lot and he sometimes becomes violent. We have 3 kids (7, 4, 2) and it scares me how this will affect my kids. I am very stressed and depressed; and I feel I neglect them and even sometimes I shout at my kids when they are fighting or crying or even playing. My husband also does the same. I try not to let it get to me. But I feel I am continuously ignoring my kids and their demands and their right to have a peaceful environment, and that I do not give them my full attention as they deserve, due to my mental state. Should we just separate for our kids’s sake?

Counselor

Answer


children

In this counseling answer:

“Please do find a counselor in your area to address your depression and stress, it may be due to the abusive conditions you are living under. Please sister, also seek out parenting classes to help you relearn how to treat your children. Your local Masjid may be a good source or the counselor that you will hopefully see insha’Allah, can direct you.”


As-Salam alaykum dear sister,

I’m sorry to hear about your marriage problems. It is not a good situation at all. If your husband is violent you need to take the children and leave. Please do find someone you trust to help you with this if you fear you cannot do it alone.

It is not a healthy situation for you or your children, and yes, seeing a violent relationship between their parents will affect them as will being screamed at and neglected will.

Please do find a counselor in your area to address your depression and stress, it may be due to the abusive conditions you are living under. Please sister, also seek out parenting classes to help you relearn how to treat your children. Your local Masjid may be a good source or the counselor that you will hopefully see insha’Allah, can direct you.

In any case, please do ensure your safety and your children, and leave. If you need help, please do google local domestic violence shelters, they can help.
You are in our prayers, please let us know how you and the children are.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

We’re Getting Divorced. How to Tell the Kids?

Negative Effects of Divorce on Children

Irresponsible Father, Ask for Divorce?

 




About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

find out more!