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My Daughter’s Virtue

Questioner

K (32-female-US)

Reply Date

Mar 04, 2017

Question

Salam. I have a question regarding my three and a half year old daughter. This incident happened when she was about three years old. One day she was constipated so I decided to use a baby laxative. Till this day, I feel so worried about her. As I was putting the laxative in, I have a feeling (but I am not sure) that the laxative went in the vaginal area. There was a little blood on the laxative and I am very concerned. After that incident, I haven't and won't use laxatives on her again. Also there has never been any blood after that incident. I would like to know: could it have interfered with her virginity at such a young age?

Counselor

Answer


daughter

As salamu ‘alaykum,

Dear sister, you must have been sleepless for the last six months, you should have written to us immediately after this incident, anyway… lets start from the very beginning.

The hymen is a fleshy, thin membrane, which partially closes the mouth (entrance) of the vagina. It has an opening, which may be rounded or elongated. This opening is necessary in order to let out the menstrual flow from the uterus

For young girls (unlike boys) giving a suppository should be done with some caution as the anal and vaginal openings are so near and look alike especially at a young age, also the girl may make a sudden movement which leads to missing the right aperture. But in my opinion the way you described the incidence, doesn’t necessarily mean that the hymen is ruptured. This blood could be an inflammation or from the wall of the vagina…rupturing the hymen is not that easy, but still I strongly recommend seeing a physician or a gynecologist. It wont take a minute and it wont hurt, and if the girl is frightened the doctor can give her a mild sedative just to calm her down. The examination should be comforting and not alarm her – we don’t need a psychological trauma. After this examination you can be rest assured.

Now I would like to have a whisper in your ear..

How do we define chastity, virginity, virtue, decency .etc.?

Do they only mean an intact hymen? I know a case of a very indecent girl she committed zina several times and she came laughing and mocking in the clinic because she still had an intact hymen. Her hymen has good elasticity therefore it is difficult to rupture. Do we call her virgin?

 

The hymen can be ruptured by:

-An accident or injury, such as falling astride on a projecting substance, trying to climb over a fence and tripping

-Introduction of instruments by doctors during examination or surgical operation

These girls are still virgins

 

And finally – Any good is from Allah and any mistakes are from myself.


 

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About Mona Salama

Mona Salama is a Medical Nutrition Specialist. Parenting Counselor and hold an Ijaza in Islamic Da`wah. She Graduated from Faculty of Medicine-Cairo University.

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