I committed Zina, now I am pregnant. The person I committed Zina with and my friends and family thinks it is better to have an abortion since the guy has refused to marry me.
He is also an unbeliever. I know this is compounding my sins, but I don't know what to do. I just hope Allah will forgive me.
The man has said he will never take responsibility if I have the child. I, however, intend to. Please advise me.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
•I would kindly suggest sister that if you have not already, that you repent to Allah for the zina,
•Get your life together in terms of getting closer to Allah and an having Islamic (life) foundation from which to seek shelter, comfort and mercy in Him.
•Please do start going to the Masjid if you are not already, keep your prayers and study Islam so you are prepared to raise a child as a strong striving Muslimah, renewed in her faith.
•Please do see who will be there from your family and circle of friends to be supportive.
•Make a list of the obstacles you may face during and after the pregnancy as well as the benefits of all of this.
As salamu alaykum dear sister,
I am sorry to hear about the situation you are in. While I do not know your age, how many months you are pregnant or the financial circumstances, it is a hard decision nonetheless.
All these would have been dependent upon my response, however, I will try to address this the best way I can based on what you have written.
First, I am not an Islamic scholar, therefore I would refer you to the “Ask the Scholar” section of our website for questions about abortion, length of pregnancy, circumstances etc.
With that said, I feel that as you said you intended to have the child, then I would go ahead and plan on having this child.
Yes, Allah hates abortion and yes Allah has given you this child for only Allah can bring forth life.
I would kindly suggest sister that if you have not already, that you repent to Allah for the zina, get your life together in terms of getting closer to Allah and a having Islamic (life) foundation from which to seek shelter, comfort and mercy in Him.
Please do start going to the Masjid if you are not already, keep your prayers and study Islam so you are prepared to raise a child as a strong striving Muslimah, renewed in her faith.
Check out this counseling video
As you know, this will not be an easy road at first. Please do see who will be there from your family and circle of friends to be supportive.
Make a list of the obstacles you may face during and after the pregnancy as well as the benefits of all of this.
There are blessings in this sister. Sometimes Allah will bring to us a seemingly horrific situation to bring us closer to Him.
There are blessings in hardships. It will be the way we handle it and how much we draw close to Allah which will determine the outcome.
Insha’Allah if you do continue with the pregnancy, you may experience some talk regarding your situation. Ignore it.
As long as you are on the right path, it is no one’s business nor concern if you are pregnant. Everyone sins, all of us. If we truly repent and ask Allah for forgiveness, then it is between us and Allah and no one else. If men could get pregnant, imagine all the babies there would be-and all of the talk.
Concerning the guy who is the father, there are laws in certain countries which can be used to make him pay child support. Utilize this if you reside in one of those countries.
As far as him being non-Muslim, well, there are a lot of Muslim men who have left similar situations so his status is irrelevant. It’s your Islamic practice that will determine your and your child’s outcome at this point, not his. It’s your body and your conscious.
Please do take these moments sister to reflect upon a new life as a mom and as a young Muslimah with a renewed faith and obedience to Allah SWT.
As you were previously not following the deen, perhaps this child is a blessing-saving you from the further perils of this dunya. I respect you and your decision sister.
We wish you the best, you are in our prayers.
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides.
Read more:
Parenting: Not What I thought It Would Be