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I’m a Lazy Mother, How Can I Change?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Apr 22, 2019

Question

As-salamu `alaykum,

May Allah reward you for all your efforts. I will express myself very briefly in order not to make you bored. Since I was small, I have developed a very bad habit of carelessness. This is for various reasons including internal family problems. I am now 30 years old, married with one child and another on the way. I still do not take life seriously as one should when a Muslim. I try hard to be patient and take care of my duties as I should, but I sometimes fail, for instance, I can sit and watch T.V. all day long. I am the world’s laziest person! I have lost myself, along with lots of friends and I am afraid of losing my husband and the hereafter.

My question is: How can I become more mature and take life more seriously. I am afraid I will also teach my son these bad habits. Even my husband’s own activities have decreased. I don’t know if this is enough for you to help me, but in sha’ Allah I have had enough of myself and want to change.

Counselor

Answer


In this counseling answer:

•Following a nutritious diet can often be the key to boost energy and motivation. Likewise with exercise, if you don’t get up and move around this can have negative effects on the body also

•Sign up to an activity or hobby you enjoy that you can do in a group, such as some kind of exercise. This way, you have to hold yourself accountable to the people in attending the exercise.

•There a number of authentic duas that the Prophet (SAW) himself taught us to say to protect us from he’s very things and laziness specifically so be sure to incorporate these into your daily practice.


Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,

It is quite clear how much your own behavior is troubling you, but you have done the best thing in stepping up and taking responsibility by asking for help in overcoming this. You are right that sometimes this can have an effect on friendships and family relationships so you are right to try and do something about it to improve relations.

The first thing I would suggest is going to see a doctor just to check if there is any underlying medical condition that may be causing this. There are many conditions that can cause fatigue which makes people unable to do too much and come across as seemingly lazy.

If this is ruled out, then I would suggest beginning with dealing with physical aspects such as making sure to follow a good diet and get sufficient exercise. Often, following a diet that is high in fat and sugar can lead to feeling fatigued and sluggish and again coming across as seemingly lazy.


Check out this counseling video 


Following a nutritious diet can often be the key to boost energy and motivation. Likewise with exercise, if you don’t get up and move around this can have negative effects on the body also. If you’re feeling a bit lazy then this then motivating yourself might be difficult. I would suggest beginning small. Just going for a 10-minute walk to begin with and gradually increasing day by day as you get more motivated.

From a more psychological perspective, you can help yourself by making commitments both to yourself and others. Sign up to an activity or hobby you enjoy that you can do in a group, such as some kind of exercise. This way, you have to hold yourself accountable to the people in attending the exercise. If you don’t turn up you then face the property of letting others down and the embarrassment that may cause. They will also be able to motivate you to so better and attend each time. This can serve as a motivation to attend every time.

You will also make friends this way too, which can be another secondary means to increase motivation as your wellbeing generally improves. This will also keep you busy in activities that keep you busy and away from watching TV all day.

You can then support yourself in this by setting goals for yourself. For example, you may set a goal to walk/run x amount of miles in x amount of time. Recording this daily will motivate you to keep working at achieving better and better each time.

Similarly, if you chose to study then setting a target that you will study certain materials each day can serve as motivation. Record these things somewhere that you will see every day to keep you continually motivated as you visually see these things regularly throughout the day.

Finally there a number of authentic duas that the Prophet (SAW) himself taught us to say to protect us from he’s very things and laziness specifically so be sure to incorporate these into your daily practice.

May Allah guide you and protect you from laziness. May He make it easy for you to break out of this.

Duas for laziness

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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