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As a Busy Mother, Fasting Fills Me with Dread!

Questioner

F (30_female_UK)

Reply Date

May 26, 2018

Question

As salamu `alaykum.

I can not talk about this to anyone because I don't want friends/husband to think I am weak.I converted 3.5 years ago. This will be my 4th Ramadan. The first year I only did about a week as I found it so difficult. The year after I did about 3 weeks. Last year I was pregnant so I did not fast. This year I am shamefully dreading it. I have a 3-year-old and a 5-month-old. I have been struggling to deal with being a mother of 2 children. I don't stop all day.

I'm up early every day and feed my daughter in the middle of the night (bottle). I very rarely sit down. If I get hungry or tired I get snappy, I'll have a short temper and be irritated by everyone. I don't know what to do. The thought of not eating and drinking for 18 hours in summer fills me with dread. I feel awful for feeling like this. I know Allah will help me and give me strength but I know and can predict how things will be. Please please help me. I wish I had the option to feed 60 people instead this year.

Counselor

Answer


Ramadan

In this counseling answer:

•Fast as many days as you can without dread, and when it becomes difficult, ask Allah (SWT) for His forgiveness, and make the intention to make up for them at another time.
•And don’t feel guilty.


Wa `Alaikum as-Salaam Dear Sister,

SubhanAllah, I am totally impressed with the quality of your faith. You understand your obligation to fast in the month of Ramadan along with your weaknesses and fears of not being able to fulfill it. This is a good sign of iman (faith), Ma sha’ Allah.

Allah (SWT) does not wish to put His sincere servants under any unnecessary hardship. So, here is what I suggest:
1. Know that if there is a will, Allah (SWT) will always make a way, and will give you the strength to fast and also look after your very young children.
2. Fast as many days as you can without dread, and when it becomes difficult, ask Allah (SWT) for His forgiveness, and make the intention to make up for them at another time.
3. And don’t feel guilty.

Now, then, drop all your fears, smile and be happy for the Love and Mercy of Allah(SWT) upon you and upon all of us.

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

In Ramadan, I Don’t Have Time for My Kids

Shall I Fast in Ramadan While Breastfeeding?

Pregnant in Ramadan: To Fast or Not to Fast?




About Dr. Mohammad Sadiq

Dr. Mohammad Sadiq, With a PhD in psychology and clinical psychology, he has worked as a certified psychologist in Canada since 1975. He has trained clinical and childcare staff who work with emotionally and behaviorally disturbed teenagers and their families, he currently runs a center for sexually abused children in Canada.

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