Answer
In this counseling answer:
You have to encourage him in a positive and constructive way and not to push or force him.
Have patience when he fails to get a message or learn the words. He will, in sha’ Allah, in time.
Do not raise your voice, slap, or call him names.
Let him draw and repeat the words he finds difficult to read or remember.”
Salam Aleikom sister,
In your question, you have identified your nine years old son as having dyslexia.
My first question: Was he tested?
Children suspected of suffering from dyslexia undergo a series of reading, spelling, drawing, math, and intelligence tests, as well as visual tests and other tests to examine which brain functions are interfering with their acquisition of normal school learning.
If he was tested then the psychologist, doctor or social worker can, and should have, referred you to a clinic where they provide skills for parents to deal with and care for the children who have difficulty in reading, writing, and remembering.
Most of all, the school should be able to help you in understanding and treating your son’s learning difficulties.
It is very important that you must understand that your son has a disorder that affects millions of people all over the world but with proper teaching skills these individuals learn and function in society. He is not stupid, lazy, unmotivated, or rebellious but just have a disability that affects his ability to: Read, Write, Spell
This frustrates him and when he is forced, he becomes angry. He may also have some problems in:
- Putting things in order,
- Following instructions,
- And differentiating between left and right.
This will certainly frustrate him. Dyslexic children learn at their own level and pace, and in many cases, they excel in one or more other areas. I believe, that some of his experiences may include difficulties in concentration, perception, verbal skills, abstract reasoning, social adjustment, poor grades, and underachievement.
However, he can succeed at the same level as other children if he receives extra support and attention from you and from school.
Check out this counseling video
Here are a few things that would be very helpful to you and him, as you try to raise and educate him both in Islam and at school :
1- You have to encourage him in a positive and constructive way and not to push or force him.
2- Have patience when he fails to get a message or learn the words. He will, in sha’ Allah (if Allah wills), in time.
3- Do not raise your voice, slap, or call him names.
4- Let him draw and repeat the words he finds difficult to read or remember.
5- Be very positive, praise him every time he tries, even if he does not succeed the first time or the second time, etc. He needs to know that you and his father love him even when he makes mistakes.
6- Most of all, set a time during the day when you can sit with him without being disturbed so that you are relaxed and ready to help and support him.
The prayer I have used with small children is very simple. Ask him to repeat La Illaha Ila Allah (there is no God but Allah), as many times as he can and explain to him that this will help in calming him so that he can learn better, and insha’ Allah, he will.
This has a very calming effect on the child as well as on adults. Teaching religion should be easy because in Islam one has to learn the words and experience them through practice such as salah (prayer) and du`aa’, and I am sure, insha’ Allah, you will help him succeed.
However, I strongly urge you to ask the school to provide you with some training in how to help your son, since it is not an easy thing to do.
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