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My Mum’s Behaviour Troubles Our Family

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Mar 20, 2019

Question

Aslamu Alaikum, my mum's behaviour is not good. She tells tales and makes trouble in the family. It has caused a lot of fitna. She cannot see wrong in her ways. She behaves like a victim. I always worry about what trouble she has caused today. Please tell me a dua I can read for her? Thank you

Counselor

Answer


In this counseling answer:

•Continue praying for her, that Allah will guide her aright and stop her from causing such difficulties.

•Try inviting her to watch Islamic lectures, read Quran, or take an Islamic studies course together so that you can support her in being closer to Allah and reach this end goal in a supportive manner.


Wa alaikum salaam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh sister,

It is very unfortunate when there are people that try to stir up trouble within the family. The family are supposed to be a source of comfort and support for one another and when someone causes problems, this can cause destruction in the entire family.

We especially expect that the elders, and our parent, in particular, will be the source of guidance as positive role models to us but in the case when they are the ones behaving wrongly this can add to the burden.

Alhamdulilah that you are recognising that her behaviour is not good and are concerned about any ongoing difficulties that her behaviour could cause as this will place you in a strong position to prevent this from happening.

As I am not a scholar I cannot advise you on specific duas for this scenario, but I would advise you to ask a scholar in this case.. but, I certainly can advise you to continue praying for her, that Allah will guide her aright and stop her from causing such difficulties.

You can also be a positive role model to her by practising Islam with her and advising her in line with Islam that she will develop a fear of Allah and desire to please Him by acting in accordance with Islam in such a way that won’t cause a disturbance in the family.

Perhaps you could try inviting her to watch Islamic lectures, read Quran, or take an Islamic studies course together so that you can support her in being closer to Allah and reach this end goal in a supportive manner that will be good for you both as well as naturally encouraging her to good without being angry or forceful.

Furthermore, if it is that her behaviour is a result of some inner turmoil that she is facing, which this kind of behaviour commonly is, then this will serve as a natural resolve for this also by providing subtle support and guidance for her.

May Allah reward your concern for her and your family and may He guide her in the straight path.

Salam,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

 




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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