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My Toddler Is Scared of Strangers

Questioner

W

Reply Date

Mar 12, 2019

Question

As-salamu `alaykum. I have a two year old child boy. He is lovely and cute boy Al-hamdulelah. The problem is that he becomes afraid when we meet strange people, or hearing any loud voice. Is this because his father sometimes hits him lightly or shouts and him whenever doing something wrong. What should I do to deal with this?

Counselor

Answer


strangers

In this counseling answer:

•Encourage him to seek counseling or speak with your imam about the situation.

•Perhaps there are some Father Groups at your Masjid or within your local Islamic community. If he is a new dad, this could be most beneficial.


As salamu alaykum dear sister,
Children are often naturally shy at this age and sometimes afraid of people they don’t know.

It is a normal developmental stage which insha’Allah he will outgrow. However, his dad hitting him and yelling is not appropriate parenting.

If it continues, yes, your son could develop a complex in addition to feeling insecure and having low self-esteem when he gets a little older.

There are many ways to deal with a young child’s behavior other than hitting and yelling. I highly suggest sister, that you and your husband take some classes in parenting skills.

Many community centers offer them and they provide positive ways to deal with misbehaving children that encourages healthy growth & development insha’Allah.

It appears that your husband takes his anger out on your baby, which is not right. It must be addressed.

I would further suggest you encourage him to seek counseling or speak with your imam about the situation. Perhaps there are some Father Groups at your Masjid or within your local Islamic community. If he is a new dad, this could be most beneficial.

We wish you the best, you are In our prayers.


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About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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