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My Toddler Is Scared of Strangers

Questioner

W

Reply Date

May 12, 2018

Question

As-salamu `alaykum. I have a two year old child boy. He is lovely and cute boy Al-hamdulelah. The problem is that he becomes afraid when we meet strange people, or hearing any loud voice. Is this because his father sometimes hits him lightly or shouts and him whenever doing something wrong. What should I do to deal with this?

Counselor

Answer


strangers

In this counseling answer:

“I would further suggest you encourage him to seek counseling or speak with your imam about the situation. Perhaps there are some Father Groups at your Masjid or within your local Islamic community. If he is a new dad, this could be most beneficial.”


As salamu alaykum dear sister,
Children are often naturally shy at this age and sometimes afraid of people they don’t know.

It is a normal developmental stage which insha’Allah he will out grow. However, his dad hitting him and yelling is not appropriate parenting.

If it continues, yes, your son could develop a complex in addition to feeling insecure and having low self esteem when he gets a little older.

There are may ways to deal with a young child’s behavior other than hitting and yelling. I highly suggest sister, that you and your husband take some classes in parenting skills.

Many community centers offer them and they provide positive ways to deal with mis-behaving children that encourages healthy growth & development insha’Allah.

It appears that your husband takes his anger out on your baby, which is not right. It must be addressed.

I would further suggest you encourage him to seek counseling or speak with your imam about the situation. Perhaps there are some Father Groups at your Masjid or within your local Islamic community. If he is a new dad, this could be most beneficial.

We wish you the best, you are In our prayers.


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About Aisha Mohammad-Swan

Aisha Mohammad-Swan received her PhD in psychology in 2000. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York with a focus on PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, and Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. She is currently studying for her certification in Islamic Chaplaincy, and takes Islamic courses at SHC. Aisha works at a Women's Daytime Drop in Center, and has her own part-time practice in which she integrates counseling and holistic health. Aisha also received an MA in Public Health/Community Development in 2009 and plans to open a community counseling/resource center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah.

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