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My Kid Watches Inappropriate YouTube Videos!

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Jan 09, 2018

Question

I found my six-year-old watching content on youtube that it was not appropriate for her age. How can I deal with this?

Counselor

Answer


Youtube

In this counseling answer:

“You could ask them how they feel about you correcting her yourself in future if you catch her tell a lie when her parents aren’t present. Imagine how you would feel if someone else corrected your own daughters behaviour. If it is because she is doing something wrong like lying then perhaps you wouldn’t mind, but everyone is different.”


Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

 

In this situation, you are right to feel concerned for your daughter. Naturally, as parents, we are concerned about nurturing them in the beat way and are therefore concerned for the friends they have. We want them to have friends that encourage them in positive ways and not be influenced by negative traits, such as lying in this case.

As parents, it is also our responsibility to make sure that they do have good friends and encourage them accordingly. At the age of 7, you as her parents will be able to have far more effect in this than if she was older, so you are in a good position to intervene at this point.

Since they live close together and enjoy each other’s company it would not recommended to completely break their friendship as this may cause more harm than good. However, her lying behaviour needs addressing in some way before it impacts on your daughter in a negative way.

There is the option to call the girl out herself when you hear her telling a lie, but it would most likely be more effective if you instead take it up with the girls parents first. They know her best and will be in a better position to correct her behaviour.

Furthermore, she is more likely to be responsive to her own parents than to you. Perhaps they are already aware of it and are working to overcome it, or perhaps this is only something she does outside of the house because she knows her parents are not around to correct her so she takes advantage. Either way, you will not know unless you speak to her parents about it.

You could ask them how they feel about you correcting her yourself in future if you catch her tell a lie when her parents aren’t present. Imagine how you would feel if someone else corrected your own daughters behaviour. If it is because she is doing something wrong like lying then perhaps you wouldn’t mind, but everyone is different.

Perhaps they are already aware of the issue and are doing their best to correct her behaviour and don’t want others to intervene. However, sometimes, having someone else pick up on bad behaviour aside from the parents can prove to be a very effective way of overcoming such difficulties. Either way, it would be better and more respectful to her family to talk about this first before taking matters into your own hands.

This might be a difficult conversation to have as none likes to hear that their own child is not behaving with good manners. Due to this, do make sure to approach it with sensitivity and gentleness without coming across as blaming or judging. Instead come across as understanding that she is young and children are still learning at this stage and require guidance, as does your own daughter.

In the meantime, make sure to be educating your daughter about lying and letting her know that it’s not ok. That just because some people do it, it doesn’t mean that she should too. Highlight the dangers of lying with her by reading her moral stories about what happens when you lie. Likewise, reward her during moments where she tells the truth so that she will be encouraged to refrain from telling lies and feel encouraged to always be truthful.

May Allah guide your daughter and her friend on the straight path and make it easy for you to successfully address the issue and overcome it effectively.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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