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How Dare She Wet Herself?!

11 February, 2021
Q My four-year-old daughter has been potty trained since she was one.

She peed in her pants twice and I am worried. Any suggestions as to why she does this?

I'm worried about her because this is not normal behavior.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•Children often feel upset, worried, angry, and sad. Such stresses may cause a child to regress to an earlier pattern of behavior such as whining, crying, or bedwetting, or they may become more aggressive and demanding.

•Try to solve your problems with your spouse in a calm and wise way; let her feel a harmony in the family as this will give her a sense of security.

•You can also give her a cup of chamomile and/or another one of Anise. These herbs may relax your daughter.


As-Salamu ‘Alaykum,

The problem dear sister is not with your daughter.

Mothers’ hearts tend to reach out for the slightest change in their children, and as a mother, I can tell you that life is simpler if you keep your worries about big issues.

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Your daughter had a couple of accidents; no big deal, but it may be a big deal if you conveyed your worries to her verbally or non-verbally. Your daughter could then develop “a fear of bed-wetting” that might interfere with her normal development, so let us be wise mothers and reassure our children that there is nothing to worry about.

Why would a child resume having accidents after being clean?

If a child, who once had bladder control, starts to have accidents, it could be related to either emotional or physiological problems.

Emotional causes include:

•Stressful or scary situations

Parental separation

•The fear of their separation and even familial disharmony

Children often feel upset, worried, angry, and sad. Such stresses may cause a child to regress to an earlier pattern of behavior such as whining, crying, or bed wetting, or they may become more aggressive and demanding.

Try to solve your problems with your spouse in a calm and wise way; let her feel a harmony in the family as this will give her a sense of security.


Check out this counseling video


Patience is an ornament that, unlike jewelry, is priceless.

“And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them – and settlement is best.” ( Al Nisa` 4: 128)

Other emotional causes may include:

•A move to a new house,

•Birth of a sibling,

•Early separation of the child from parents

•Psychiatric disturbance in a parent

Organic problems include:

•Urinary tract infections which can irritate the urethra and bladder and interfere with normal functioning.

•Children with diabetes may have difficulty concentrating their urine, and they typically urinate larger amounts, sometimes to the point of wetting the bed at night.

•A food allergy or sensitivity can also cause bed-wetting because problem foods can irritate the bladder. These issues must be diagnosed and treated by your child’s physician.

If these accidents tend to increase, try to figure out what could be the cause from the previous points, but if not…just forget the whole thing.

You can also give her a cup of chamomile and/or another one of Anise (one or two doses of tea made from these herbs separately or as a combination early in the evening after dinner). These herbs may relax your daughter in sha`Allah.

Salam

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hwaa Irfan
Late Hwaa Irfan, may her soul rest in peace, served as consultant, counselor and freelance writer. Her main focus was on traditional healing mechanisms as practiced in various communities, as opposed to Western healing mechanisms.