Answer
In this counseling answer:
•You have to spend time with your daughter clarifying the various roles that people play in her life. You can explain to her who each of her relatives is and let her know what their specific position is in the family.
•You can also tell your daughter the common names that people use to refer to the various positions, such as uncle, aunt, cousin, grandfather, grandmother, etc.
As-Salamu ‘Alaykum,
This is a very interesting question, indeed. We appreciate your concern about how your daughter might be affected if she has to call you mother and call her grandmother as ‘mother’ plus her name. No matter what language you speak, children are most capable of learning who the special people are in their lives and what role each of those special people plays.
You have to spend time with your daughter clarifying the various roles that people play in her life. You can explain to her who each of her relatives is and let her know what their specific position is in the family. You can also tell your daughter the common names that people use to refer to the various positions, such as uncle, aunt, cousin,etc.
If your daughter’s grandmother is insisting that she be called mother plus her name, then there is really no reason to make a big deal out of this.
Check out this counseling video
Grandparents spend their entire lives waiting to be just that—grandparents. They want to do everything possible to have a close relationship with their grandchildren. If it makes your daughter’s grandmother happy to be called by a special name, then let her have that pleasure! Finally, if you really think about it, even the word grandmother has the word “mother” in it! Make du`aa’ (supplication) that, in sha’ Allah, there are no side effects for your daughter.
Remember, if you do everything possible to be the best mother you can, in sha’ Allah, there will be very little chance that your daughter will ever be confused as to who her mother really is!
Allah knows best.
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