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Go Back to Work or Stay with the Baby?


A (33-male-US)

Reply Date

Dec 05, 2017


If you are a mother and have a baby, would you prefer working and putting your baby in the day care, or rather giving your full sympathy and compassion to your baby, especially if your husband can afford your expenses? The reason I am asking this is a recent conflict between me and my wife on whether she should go back to work or not. She always says that she wants to work to be independent, and that she did not learn to sit at home at the end. I have no problem with this, but the issue of the baby is bothering me. What do you suggest?




Dear brother,
We have learnt from psychology and physiology that there is a window of opportunity consisting of the ages from 0 to 7. This is when children go through their maximum emotional, intellectual, and psychological growth. This period from 1 to 7 is crucial for a child to have a steady relationship with a primary care-giver, namely the mother.

Much of what we see happening to our children in the society where both parents go to work and the children are raised by other care-giver has created lots of social problems and deviant behavior such as drugs, truancy, stealing, lying, running away from school, aggression, and unable to cope with threats. This is also supported by extensive research studies.

Therefore, we now see that many successful women are choosing to stay home with their children for this important period in their life. So, the bottom line is that one can always go back to work, make money, and have career, but one can never go back to bring back the lost years in child’s life.

So, I would recommend, as a professional and as a mother, that your wife should seriously consider educating herself in the negative consequences for her children if she chooses to go to work, even though, she does not have to.


Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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