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What To Do When I Feel I Hate Allah for Giving Me Trials?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Dec 04, 2018

Question

Assalamualaykum. Firstly I would like to congratulate the team behind this website. I've been asking a lot of questions, and they were all answered beautifully alhamdulillah. So I am hoping that this time too, I will get answers that put my heart at ease. Lately, so many calamities fell upon me. It made me weak, and truthfully I've always been weak at trials. Whenever I am tested, I couldn't help but to feel hate on Allah. It feels to me like He created us without even having the need to, only to have us tested, all for the sake of a good life in the hereafter. It feels to me like He is toying with our lives, giving us tests and hardships as He pleases. It's easy to say to persevere and you'll enter Jannah, but it's not like He is the one who endure all the hardships. I don't even want to be created as a human in the first place. I did not choose to be in this world, and yet I have to endure all the tests. I feel like if only I was given an option to be a human or something else, I might just choose not to exist at all. I hate being a human, and a little bit of the hate is directed towards Him for creating me. When people say I should think about those who have it worse than me, all I could think about is how evil it is for Allah to cause humans to suffer. He calls Himself the Most Merciful and the Most Loving, and yet He inflicts pain and suffering. People say that tests are signs that Allah loves you. To me, that is a very twisted logic. If I love someone I wouldn't want to see him/her getting hurt. Sometimes I wish that all of this is not true, that there is no hereafter and Allah doesn't exist. But for all the evil I see happening in this world, I do believe that there must be some kind of retribution and punishment, and justice will be served for those who are oppressed. And that somehow keeps me in my faith. But still every time I am tested, I fail miserably and I hate Him. How do I get rid of this feeling and be a more patient human?

Consultant

Answer


hate Allah

Short Answer: How do you know that the difficulties that you are enduring are tests in the first place and not punishments? Did it ever occur to you that maybe these difficulties and problems could be the result of your own sins? Please try to view the trials and difficulties that Allah has sent your way in their true, positive perspective. Don’t hate Allah but get to know your Creator. If you knew Him better, you would have observed His signs in a more positive and enlightening light. In short, you would love Him, just the way He loves you.

_____________________________________

Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.

Sister, I am sorry to hear of the distressed and angry state of your heart.

Anger and bitterness towards our Creator is indeed a warning sign that our faith has significantly waned.

Indeed, calamities and tests are something from which we all should seek Allah’s refuge, because they can either make or break our faith.

There are many things that are a matter of perspective and insight: a way of looking at reality for what it truly is, versus being misled by the desires and illusions that arise from deceptive appearances and false beliefs about the life of this world.

Consequences of Sins

You mention that you have been tested again and again, and this has made you angry.

You hate being human, and you think that Allah created you just like that, and then sent one test after another upon you.

Sister, firstly, how do you know that the difficulties that you are enduring, are tests in the first place, and not punishments?

Did it ever occur to you that maybe these difficulties and problems could be the result of your own sins? Because Allah says in the Quran:

“And whatever strikes you of disaster – it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much.” [42:30]

To know whether a calamity was a test or a punishment for sins, one should look at what effect it had upon our faith.

Did it make us humble and more righteous, or did it turn us away from Allah in anger?

Harboring negative feelings towards Allah, such as ingratitude (refusal to acknowledge His benevolences) and arrogance (refusing to submit to His commands), classify as grave sins of the heart.

Look Inward

Sister, please turn your introspective eye inward for a bit, and analyze your heart and your actions in the light of the Quran: have you been transgressing the bounds set by Allah?

Have you been neglecting the obligations of Islam?

When a Muslim does not repent for their sins for a long time, black spots appear on their heart, and they spread over it like rust.

This blackness of sins afflicts the heart with the ailments of ingratitude, arrogance, envy, greed, and other signs of weakened faith.

This makes the believer even more anguished and distressed, until and unless they repent sincerely and willfully break down their own rebellious defiance in front of Allah.

May Allah save us all.

I therefore urge you to hasten to repent for all of your past sins, and to intend, from now on, to turn your beliefs and actions around for the better.

The Good Behind All the Pain & Suffering

Sister, there is much hidden good behind the apparent bad things that happen.

For one, it is pain and suffering that allow us to truly enjoy states of well-being and ease.

If you analyze each and every cause of happiness & blessing that we enjoy in life, you will realize that we enjoy them in part because of the pain, evil, distress and other bad things that exist in this world.

Only extreme hunger for example can make one appreciate and enjoy every tiny morsel of food.

Extreme thirst makes that first sip of water taste ever so sweet and precious.

Death of a loved one causes one to appreciate their own time left on earth, as well as those loved ones who are still alive, more.

Only an amputee will truly appreciate and put to good use their remaining limbs.

And only a refugee who fled war and destruction will truly be able to appreciate the blessings of security and a roof over their heads, for the rest of their lives!

Love & Discipline

Sister, love has many manifestations.

Sometimes, love for someone mandates harshness, because strict training with self-discipline (even self-denial) leads to much betterment for the beloved individual.

Controlled diet and exercise for example is very difficult to do, but it leads to making the body healthy, energetic, and shapely.

Similarly, only those parents who truly love their child, are keen to impose strict rules and routines upon the latter.

So please try to view the trials and difficulties that Allah has sent your way in their true, positive perspective. And there is only one way to do that, really.

Don’t Hate Allah: Get to Know Him

I suggest you pick up a translation of the Quran, and begin to study it with the intention of getting to know your Creator better.

If you knew Him better, you would have observed His signs not just in your life, but also in the world around you, in a more positive and enlightening light.

In short, you would love Him, just the way He loves you.

And please repent for all your past sins first, in order to remove the lock of anguish and distress that is shackling your heart.

And Allah knows best. I hope that this answers your questions.

Salam. Please stay in touch.

 

(From Ask About Islam archives)

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

How Do I Fix My Relationship With Allah?

I Stopped Praying: How Can I Return to Allah?

Happiness Is… (Folder)

 




About Sadaf Farooqi

Sadaf Farooqi is an author, blogger and freelance writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. To date, Sadaf has authored over 300 original articles, most of which can be accessed on her blog, "Sadaf's Space" (sadaffarooqi.wordpress.com). She has recently started self-publishing her past articles as non-fiction Islamic books, which are available on Amazon and Kindle (www.amazon.com/author/sadaffarooqi)


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