Short Answer: Marriage has great benefits for Muslim men, even more than those for Muslim women. “If we look at marriage in the west, east, north, or south, attitude is everything. Forget about east and west. Muslim men should marry because marriage has countless benefits, especially for pious Muslim men… Ultimately, divorce is a reality of life wherever you live in the world. There is no guarantee that “love will conquer all” or that everyone will live happily ever after… In Islam, when divorce occurs the responsibilities of a father to provide for his children and wife do not end. This is largely in agreement with western legal proceedings related to divorce, and maintenance of children and their mothers.”
You pose a very good question, “Why should Muslim men marry in the USA when the court system favors women in cases of divorce?”.
Attitude is Everything
When it comes to any choice we make in life we can approach it from two possible perspectives:
- Glass half empty
- Glass half full
If we look at marriage in the west, east, north, or south, attitude is everything.
If you see marriage in a negative light, as “glass half-empty”, or as primarily a burden upon men, then it won’t really matter if you marry in the east or in the west because it would be mostly considered a negative thing that has only a few benefits.
If you see marriage as primarily a positive thing, as “glass half-full” (which it is in Islam) there are only a few negatives that can be overcome with patience, love, and mercy:
And among His signs is this: He creates for you mates out of your own kind so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and mercy between you: in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think. (Qur’an 30:21)
I believe that you should be asking, “Why should a Muslim man marry?”
Forget about east and west. Muslim men should marry because marriage has countless benefits, especially for pious Muslim men.
The Benefits of Marriage for Pious Muslim Men
Marriage teaches men to put others before himself, and thereby encourages him to seek out the bounties of Allah.
Marriage teaches him patience, the most important of virtues, as he must live with his wife in sickness and in health, through good times and bad.
It is a cure for loneliness and despair, and minimizes his attractions to other women and the potential for falling into sinful behaviors.
Marriage connects him to his wife’s family which can be a great source of moral support, friendship, and possibly even new opportunities for social and financial advancement for him and his family.
Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said,
When a man marries he has fulfilled half of his religion; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half. (Al-Tirmidhi, 3096)
Men have more to gain from marriage than women do
The burdens of bearing children and raising them primarily fall on women; mostly because of biology, but also due to cultural norms in many societies.
Marriage for women is a lot more work than it is for men, so they deserve the best treatment by their husbands and their families:
The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family. (Al-Tirmidhi, 3252)
The life of this world is provisions, and the best of provisions is a righteous woman. (Sahih Muslim, 1467)
Divorce is a Reality Everywhere
Ultimately, divorce is a reality of life wherever you live in the world.
There is no guarantee that “love will conquer all” or that everyone will live happily ever after.
A successful marriage requires a lot of effort, problem solving, compromise, patience and perseverance on the part of both husband and wife.
If both spouses hold fast to these aspects of their relationship, any obstacle can be overcome.
Men are typically considered the breadwinners of the family because they cannot bear children and will not be physically limited by that when seeking Allah’s bounties on a daily basis.
This does not mean that he has no responsibilities towards caring for and raising his children, but as I mentioned earlier, children rely so much more on their mothers for their basic needs throughout their childhood and even into adulthood.
In Islam, when divorce occurs the responsibilities of a father to provide for his children and wife do not end.
Responsibilities After Divorce
If the mother remarries, then the father’s case for taking custody of his children becomes stronger, but he still must pay her for taking care of his children at an age when he is not best suited to do so.
Generally, younger children must stay with their mothers until they are old enough to take care of themselves, perhaps around the age of 8-10 years, depending on the individual child’s abilities.
This is largely in agreement with western legal proceedings related to divorce, and maintenance of children and their mothers.
I hope this has been helpful to you. Please keep in touch.