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Displeased with My Life

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Nov 09, 2018

Question

I’m asking this because, there are many things which I don’t have and didn’t happened as I wished to exist. And my Christian mother told me that by showing to God that you’re not happy with his life, then you’re only making Him being angry at you. He just have granted you second life, so he content with it, if He weren’t to grant you second life then today you were be dead during the surgery of your back bone scoliosis. And my Christian aunt told me, “God granted you second chance in life so that He can see that you actually deserve to have, because before surgery you were angry and creating a lot of problems to other people, and He granted you second chance so that you may change your attitude, your behavior. And be content with the life He granted you.”Is my Christian mother and my Christian aunt right about what they told me?

Consultant

Answer


Displeased

Short Answer: It is not befitting of a Muslim to be angry or act upon anger. Also, be kind to your mother, whether or not she is a Muslim. Allah instructs excellent treatment to parents even if they disbelieve in Him. That’s how Merciful and Just He is. In short, don’t lose hope. You’re in a great position to still be alive. Work on your faith and being a better believer in Allah. Don’t forget His guaranteed eternal reward that is better than everything on earth. Trust Him and ask Him to give you what truly benefits you and makes you pleased.

………….

Peace be upon you Dear Brother,

Thank you for sending us your question and allowing us to share with you what might give you better insight, relief or guidance towards what benefits you in this life and the next. May Allah accept your sincere effort to seek answers; Allah does not allow the reward of any seeker of good to go wasted.

Now, there are two parts to your question; not being pleased with Allah’s decree or being upset over the things your don’t have. The second part is what your mother and aunt told you about being given a second chance.

Not Pleased with my Life

First of all, we appreciate your feelings regarding the difficulties you may be experiencing over what you don’t have.

But, we must remember here a few things.

  1. Allah created this life as a test. It is not meant to be Paradise where we get whatever we want for eternity. This life is supposed to be the phase/test based on which we secure our place in Paradise that we all wish for.  
  2. The test can sometimes be easy and sometimes hard. That’s fair enough especially when the reward is unmatched (paradise where we get whatever we want with no end, sadness, pain, sorrow or any form of discomfort EVER again.)
  3. Allah Almighty wants to test who is a true believer/sincere lover of Allah and who isn’t. It is easy to believe and love Allah when everything goes as we please. But the real test is whether we’ll still love, obey, follow Him when things don’t go our way.
  4. Sincerity in faith requires believing and loving Allah in sickness and in health, for better and for worse. Imagine if you love a friend or a spouse, but they leave you once you have a disagreement or once you get ill, is this true friendship or true love? Of course not. So it’s part of the test of sincerity and faith to accept Allah’s decree, even if it may not be as we please at the moment. At the end, this life and everything on it and everything we want and wish for will come to an end, and the only thing that will benefit us will be our faith and good deeds.
  5. The Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) was asked about what faith is, and he replied “To believe in Allah, His Angels, His, Books, His Messengers, the Day of Judgment, and Al-Qadar (Divine Decree), the good of it and the bad of it.’

In another narration, Jabir bin ‘Abdullah said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings upon him) said:

‘A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar (Divine Decree), its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him.” [at-Tirmidhi]

This tells us that all people are subject to experience some matters which they perceive as bad. BUT, how we deal with these matters reflect whether we are true believers or not. How? If we become upset with Allah over what we perceive as negative, then it is as though we tell Allah that we do not believe that You are The Wise, The Just, The Merciful, The All-Knowing… we negate Allah’s own Names and Attributes when we think that what happens to us is unjust or unmerciful or has no meaning or reason. So, we must remember that Allah is indeed and in-fact the Most Merciful, Just, Wise, Knowing; whatever He allows/withholds reflect that, whether we understand it now with our short-sightedness or not. As Allah says:

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (Quran 2: 216)

Read here for more on this.

Having said that, we’re not trying to imply that your situation will never get better; we’re only putting life in perspective for you.

When we ask Allah for something, He replies in a number of ways:

  • He gives us what we want.
  • He delays it until a time most suited for this thing to happen.
  • He moves it away from us if He knows it’ll harm us and will not really benefit it, and instead grants a reward much higher and everlasting on the Day of Judgment on account of our patience over this.  

So you should continue to make dua to Allah and know that dua will only come with goodness for you here and in the hereafter.

Illness and a Second Chance in Life

Every day we live is a new chance for us to do better, be better and seek a higher reward in Paradise.

So, yes, the fact that you are still alive and can do more good is a major blessing from Allah Almighty. Please utilize this opportunity.

Definitely please do work on the anger issue your aunt mentioned. It is not befitting of a Muslim to be angry or act upon anger. Also, be kind to your mother, whether or not she is a Muslim. Allah instructs excellent treatment to parents even if they disbelieve in Him. That’s how Merciful and Just He is.

In short, don’t lose hope. You’re in a great position to still be alive. Work on your faith and being a better believer in Allah. Don’t forget His guaranteed eternal reward that is better than everything on earth. Trust Him and ask Him to give you what truly benefits you and makes you pleased, and know that

indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” (Quran 94: 5-6)

And Allah knows best.

I hope this helps.

Salam and please keep in touch.

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

How Can I Re-establish my Relationship with Allah?

How to Regain the Light and Peace in my Heart?

How to Come Back to The Straight Path?

 




About Dina Mohamed Basiony

Dina Mohamed Basiony is a writer based in Cairo, Egypt. She is the Chief Editor of ProductiveMuslim.com. She specializes in Islam and spirituality. Dina holds an MA and BA in Journalism and Mass Communication from the American University in Cairo.

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