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“Rely Only On Allah”: Don’t Depend on Our Loved Ones?

29 September, 2017
Q We are always advised to rely solely on Allah, and not expect anything from people in this world. It makes me sad that there's no one I can trust, no one I can depend on. I know I have Allah, but it's difficult to live in a world where there's no one close to you. What to do?

Answer

Short answer: Of course we should trust and rely on our loved ones, friends, community members, and neighbors. They are a means of mercy from Allah. The key is to rely on Allah alone for the benefits of that trust, and not be dismayed when those human beings let us down.


Salaam and thank you for this excellent question!

Sheikh Faraz Rabbani from SeekersHub.org answers this question in the following video.


Transcript:

Sh. Faraz Rabbani:

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So, trust in Allah and taking the means are not opposing things. When we say we trust in Allah, meaning that we depend only on Allah, subhana wa ta’ala, in an absolute sense.

But along with depending upon Allah in an absolute sense, Allah, Subhanahu wa ta’ala, has created us in a world of means.

And the Sunnah of the Prophetsallallahu ‘alayhi wa salaam, is to take the means, and there’s some means that are obligatory to take.

So we rely on Allah for our provision, but it is obligatory for you to eat!

If you say, “I’m relying on Allah for food and drink,” but then you don’t take the means to eat or drink and you die, you will die a sinner because taking the means to the obligatory is obligatory.

So, as one of the great scholars of the 20th century said, Sheikh ‘Abd al-Rahman al-Shaghouri,

“Taking the means is necessary… and denying that the… means… have intrinsic efficacy is necessary.”

Then he continued:

“…So whoever leaves taking means is denying divine wisdom that there’s a relationship between cause and effect between means and what the means is a means to…and whoever relies on the means has associated partners with Allah.”

So, when it comes to relying upon Allah, that is not contradicted by the taking of means.

There’s means that are necessary to take… and Allah has granted us in this life what’s called “facilitative means”, and these are a mercy.

And of the most important means of mercy is al-Jama’ah, the group, the community. And there are circles of facilitative mercy.

Family is mercy, and there’s a great emphasis on being connected with family, and this facilitates mercy for us. There’s people you can be around etc.

The human being is a social animal!

Family helps family.

Having good friends is a facilitative mercy, and seeking out good friends–people who are true, who are trustworthy, who are intelligent…

“Intelligent” doesn’t mean that they’re brilliant; intelligent meaning they don’t do foolish things, they act on the basis of principle…

They say… “The intelligent person is the one whose actions are based on established principles.”

They act on the basis of reason, benefit, consideration of good and bad, right and wrong, benefit and harm.

They’re loyal, and the other qualities are there… they have good character.

And these are some of the five good qualities that the Ulema mention for a friend.

So, these are mercy: family is mercy, so reconnect with them.

We should seek out good friends and their mercy: The Prophet… said to… keep the company and sit with good companions.

And one should connect with broader communities of care and concern.

That’s of the been of the social benefits of being connected with one’s local masjid, having good relationships with one’s neighbors:

One: it fulfills the religious duty.

But these are mercy, because if you have good relations with your neighbor, with eight neighbors around you, and you fall ill, one of them may help. If you have an emergency they may come and help.

And this is something that one should seek out and also for the sake of Allah.

And it begins, also, by being ourselves good in your family, good to your friends, good in your neighborhood, good in your community.

And then if you are good in these circles of mercy, then the Lord of mercy will be merciful to you

Family, friends, neighborhood, community, these are four immediate circles of mercy.

And one should connect with them, and one should remain connected with them, even if they cut you off.

The Prophet said,

“The one who maintains ties is not the one who reciprocates [that if someone invites you then you invite them… that is not maintaining ties]…rather, the one who keeps maintaining the ties, even if the other party cuts them off.”

So you’ve invited your sister over three times and she didn’t invite you over.

[It] doesn’t matter, because you’re not doing it for her to begin with. You’re doing it for the sake of Allah, and because this is good.

So, you invite her again, and it’s good for you. If you don’t reciprocate, if you don’t do what’s good, what’s right, eventually you’ll find yourself very alone.

[It’s the] same with friends: you follow the Sunnah of giving gifts. you give gift and gift and gift and they don’t reciprocate… you don’t stop! You keep doing it.

Why? One: Because you’re doing it for Allah, not for them, even if they don’t reciprocate.

[…]

It’s a Sunnah. Be good to people for the sake of God, and you’ll find good from them. B

ut don’t measure that good, because you’re not seeking good from them, you’re seeking it from Allah.

But by doing good with people, you remain in circles of mercy. But in that, you hope only from Allah.

So don’t disconnect from the opportunities of mercy with friends, with family, with neighbors…

And your neighbors may be cold and unwelcoming. [It] doesn’t matter!

[…]

Eventually [they] may reciprocate, or at least there’s some level good relations; they’ll greet you when you’re leaving home… but you don’t have expectations from them because you’re doing it for Allah.

And eventually some people respond to the good with good, but that’s not why we maintain relations of family, friendship, neighborhood, or community.

And they say, “Givers are given contentment…on condition that they seek the contentment from Allah.”


Read more:

https://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/finding-peace/trusting-allah/trust-allah-never-lose-hope/

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