Peace be upon you dear reader,
Thank you so much for sending in your question. We ask Allah to relieve your suffering and ease your affairs and grant you the best rewards in this life and the eternal hereafter.
We encourage you to read this answer for more context regarding the first part of your message: Why do bad things happen to good people? And remember this hadith:
Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief, or mental worry, or even the pricking of a thorn; but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
So, do not be saddened over what happened. The Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) was asked which people are the most severely tested? He replied:
The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him. (Sunan Ibn Majah)
As long as one is patient on the right path and on seeking Allah Almighty sincerely, then even the suffering is rewarded and is a means of elevation.
With regards to what you can do:
1- Make dua (supplication) to Allah Almighty to grant you a righteous, God-conscious, God-fearing husband who would aid you in raising righteous kids.
And those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous. (Quran 25:74)
2- Make dua to Allah to grant you righteous kids and to accept their deeds and their pursuits. Just like the Mother of Mary (peace be upon her) did:
[Mention, O Muhammad], when the wife of ‘Imran said, “My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing.” But when she delivered her, she said, “My Lord, I have delivered a female.” And Allah was most knowing of what she delivered, “And the male is not like the female. And I have named her Mary, and I seek refuge for her in You and [for] her descendants from Satan, the expelled [from the mercy of Allah].” So her Lord accepted her with good acceptance and caused her to grow in a good manner and put her in the care of Zechariah. Every time Zechariah entered upon her in the prayer chamber, he found with her provision. He said, “O Mary, from where is this [coming] to you?” She said, “It is from Allah. Indeed, Allah provides for whom He wills without account.” (Quran 3:35-37)
3- Try to read more about how to raise good righteous kids. You may read articles, books, enroll in online/offline workshops to learn as much as you can and get ready for the task you’re looking for.
4- Remember that before teaching our kids righteousness, we need to be righteous. We need to be the good example they follow and the best Muslims they see because this is their first school. So, try insha’Allah to:
- Pray regularly. Allah says as in the hadith:
[…] the most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (voluntary prayers or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) until I love him, (so much so that) I become his hearing with which he hears, and his sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he strikes, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks Me something, I will surely give him, and if he seeks My Protection (refuge), I will surely protect him. (Al-Bukhari)
- Study your deen. Study the Noble Quran and its meanings so you can teach the beautiful words of Allah to your children.
- Study the Seerah (biography) of the Noble Messenger and know about his great character and his great life that Allah made a lesson for all of us to learn from throughout our lives.
- Give in charity regularly even if it’s a small amount. Narrated `Aisha: The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked:
What deeds are loved most by Allah? He said, ‘The most regular constant deeds even though they may be few.’ He added, ‘Don’t take upon yourselves, except the deeds which are within your ability’. (Sahih Al Bukhari)
- Help others and remember:
Whoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from him one of the griefs of the Day of Resurrection. And whoever alleviates the need of a needy person, Allah will alleviate his needs in this world and the Hereafter. Whoever shields [or hides the misdeeds of] a Muslim, Allah will shield him in this world and the Hereafter. And Allah is engaged in helping His slave so long as His slave in engaged in helping his brother. (40 Hadith Nawawi)
Hope this helps. Please keep in touch.
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