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How Can I Find Help in Desperation? (Part 1)

11 January, 2017
Q Salam, I am very poor having a large family. Mother has died and father is very aged. I am married having 4 kids. 2 are needing operations. I am a primary teacher and also under loan. What I do? My salary is not sufficient even for living then how I pay loans and do my kids operations. As a Muslim, I request you to do something for me and my family. This will be a great Ehsan of you on my family and Allah will give you its reward. And insha Allah it must be Jannat-ul-firdwas, Amen. You don't know my difficulties and troubles but Allah is my witness on my condition. It depends on your sincerity. Brother, I contacted a lot of Muslims but they are doubtful about me. I offer each to inquire about me, but even they refuse. Please, for Allah's happiness and as a brother reply me and don't ignore me from your sincerity. Wassalam.

Answer

Asalamu Alaikum Aziz,

Please find part one of the answer to your question below. Find the second and final part at the link here.

We appreciate your difficulties and we are very anxious to help you. The only way we, as a website, can help is to try to think with you how to overcome your problems.

We cannot offer you loans, because we do not provide such services. Please bear with us and read our suggestions, till the very end. If you take them seriously into practice, they might really help you out.

The suggestions I am giving you here might seem simple and redundant to you. But, I expect that they might really work out if you are persistent and if you believe in their logic.

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They were suggested by the Ask About Islam team. We, as a team, have cared enough about you to discuss your problems thoroughly.

Helping the Two Kids

Let me first address the most persistent matter; your two sick kids.

Surgery and medication have become very costly. So, I do not expect that you would easily find someone to sponsor their medication, except if this person is very rich.

Also, I do not suggest that you go into more debt. The more practical suggestion is to try to raise funds for their cases.

You can do this through reaching out to charity institutions or even through launching media campaigns concerning their cases. This, though, depends on how serious their cases are and how the media in your country react to philanthropic concerns.

What is a must for you is never to plead or beg for your kids. Please remember that a Muslim always keeps his dignity and begs none but his Creator.

Yet your situation, being responsible for those two kids, must move you to assure their health and safety. This is definitely a responsibility that you, as a Muslim father, will be questioned about by God. For this very serious reason, you have to be a bit more practical rather than emotional.

Being practical means you must include some real-world techniques to your approach. For example, take their medical reports and photographs that show how sick they are when you approach a charity institution, or when you try to spread awareness about their cases through any media channel.

Try to contact a media institution in your country and use it as a channel to explain their problems and their severe medical case.

Have a specialized physician speak on your behalf about their cases through such media channels to add credibility and emphasize the urgency. Specify accurately how much their treatment would cost, and make sure your sources for this information are credible.

Spread the news with clear information and I expect that hundreds of good hearts will be moved to help.

You do not have to depend on one source for help. Group funding, in this case, might also be a good tool. Make sure your references and medical reports are accurate, for a Muslim has to be truthful and honest.

Financial Problems

Now, going back to your original problem, which is your financial status. You have not really mentioned how you have tried to overcome your financial problems. The only thing you mentioned is that you are already under loan.

And from the tone of your question, it seems to me that you think your situation can be handled by finding some institutions or some rich persons to help you, again through some more loans.

I do sympathize with you brother, but I would not be doing you a great favor if I agree with your tone of pleading for more ihsan, as you have specified the word. Asking for ihsan, which is a form of charity given by the capable to the needy, is never the correct attitude of a Muslim.

Forgive my harshness brother, but please do not surrender to this feeling of being in need. Try to change your situation by helping yourself, not by asking others to help you.

Plead and beg Allah to help you, for He is your Provider and Sustainer. And ask none but Him. Then work hard to help yourself change your difficult situation.

Try to work more. Maybe you can find another job in the evening, or maybe you can change your job completely.

I know that writing these words to you about standing strong and being patient is not as difficult as living the dilemma itself. Yet, maybe looking at it from another perspective will afford a clearer picture.

I hope this helps. Please continue reading part two at the link here.

Walaikum Asalam.

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

Is There Relief With Every Difficulty?

What Is Beautiful Patience?

5 Oportunities That Prayers Give You

What Are The Etiquettes of Supplication (Du’a)?

What’s the Purpose of the Lawful and the Unlawful?