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How Can I Fast Ramadan Without My Non-Muslim Parents Knowing?

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Apr 16, 2019

Question

I haven't told my family yet about converting to Islam and I live at home, how can I manage fasting?

Consultant

Answer


Fast Ramadan

Short Answer: After making dua (supplication) asking Allah for help and strength, you can inform your parents about embracing of Islam (if there will be no major threat or physical harm anticipated). You can tell them your reasons for accepting Islam, how it appealed to your mind and heart, how it is making you happier, more content and more at peace. Hopefully, also they can see positive change in your character and behavior. If that isn’t possible, every day try to fast secretly, spend most of the day outdoors or working on something/project in your room for example….etc. until sunset. If one day you failed to avoid them and you felt threatened to continue fasting or to tell them, then you can break your fast with the intention of making up this day when you are able and in better circumstances.

………….

Peace be upon you Dear Sister,

First of all, let me give you the glad tidings that your reward with Allah for every moment of difficulty will never go to waste, those moments of struggles will be heavy on your scale on Judgment Day; Allah will bring ease in this life eventually, and immense eternal rewards in the next.

So strengthen your heart with faith, be patient, perseverant and do not fear, my sister.

‘A’isha reported: I heard Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:

There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that comes to a believer even if it is the pricking of a thorn that there is decreed for him by Allah good or his sins are obliterated. [Sahih Muslim]

And Allah says (translation of the meaning):

“Say, ‘[God says], believing servants, be mindful of your Lord! Those who do good in this world will have a good reward–– God’s earth is wide––and those who persevere patiently will be given a full and unstinting reward.’ (Quran 39: 10)

Seeking Allah’s Help: The Essence of Worship

The first advice is to seek the help of Allah [swt] earnestly. It is not a coincidence that Allah taught us to recite 17 times through our 5 daily prayers:

It is You we worship and You we ask for help.” (Quran 1: 5)

This is a reminder that we don’t just worship Allah, we need His Incomparable Help to remain on the straight path.

So make daily, sincere, heartfelt dua (supplication) to Allah to guide and help you, and guide and soften your parents’ hearts.

We know of many stories of new Muslims whose family were not accepting of Islam, or were hostile even… and later the entire family accepted Islam. So, nothing is impossible for Allah.

Also, remember the Beautiful Names & Attributes of Allah to increase your faith in Him and reliance upon Him.

Remember that Allah is Al-Waly (The Guardian Lord), Al-Wakeel (The Trustworthy Disposer of Affairs), An-Naseer (The Helper), Al Qawiyy (The One Perfect in Strength), Al-Qareeb (The One Who is Near to the Servants)…. So call upon Allah and trust Him and rely upon Him.

This situation could be what deepens your bond with Allah and connection with Him, and increases your faith and love for Him, and elevates your status in the hereafter.

Practical Solutions

Fasting during the month of Ramadan is a pillar of Islam and an obligation upon every able bodied Muslim (with a few exemptions you can read here).

So, we should do our best to fast the month as prescribed.

O YOU who have attained to faith! Fasting is ordained for you as it was ordained for those before you, so that you might remain conscious of God” (Quran 2: 183)

In your situation, there are a few things to consider:

1- After making dua (supplication) asking Allah for help and strength, you can inform your parents about embracing of Islam (if there will be no major threat or physical harm anticipated). You can tell them your reasons for accepting Islam, how it appealed to your mind and heart, how it is making you happier, more content and more at peace. Hopefully, also they can see positive change in your character and behavior.

2- If the aforementioned is not possible at all or will be very dangerous, try finding a place, a camp, an activity, an Islamic center or even a Muslim friend’s house to go to regularly during the month of Ramadan.

3- Speak to your local mosque/Islamic Center/Muslim friends nearby whether offline or online about the help they can offer you during this month. They should be able to help you and open their doors for you whether to spend time during Ramadan, or break the fast there or any regular help they can offer according to their capacity.

4- If all the above is not possible, then try to fast secretly as much as you can. Have the intention to fast the whole month before the month starts, and then take it every day at a time. Every day try to fast secretly, spend most of the day outdoors or working on something/project in your room for example….etc. until sunset. If one day you failed to avoid them and you felt threatened to continue fasting or to tell them, then you can break your fast with the intention of making up this day when you are able and in better circumstances.

Finally, Allah Our Creator and Creator of all mankind and all that exists, created us to honor us, teach us and show us deep meanings and wisdom. He is the most knowing of us. He doesn’t instruct us to do anything except that it has major benefit for us spiritually and on many other levels. We need to obey and follow Allah in order to actualize our purpose in life. Allah does not let a soul carry more than it can handle, and whatever He instructs is within our ability.

May Allah teach us, help us and accept from us and gather us all in His eternal Paradise. Ameen.

And Allah knows best.

I hope this helps.

Salam and please keep in touch.

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

8 Things New Muslims Need to Know Before Ramadan

10 Tips for Getting Through Your First Ramadan

Fasting for the First Time, UK Muslim Converts Get Support




About Dina Mohamed Basiony

Dina Mohamed Basiony is a writer based in Cairo, Egypt. She is the Chief Editor of ProductiveMuslim.com. She specializes in Islam and spirituality. Dina holds an MA and BA in Journalism and Mass Communication from the American University in Cairo.

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