Short Answer: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, as Jesus said. Whatever you can imagine needing if you made the choice they made, do that for them. First, be a good friend and help them avoid feeling lonely. Also, help them find reliable sources of learning about Islam, but only when they’re ready. If it’s a woman, offer her your old hijabs, but don’t push her to wear hijab until she’s ready. Islam is easy, so don’t make it hard for them. Remember: converts are not children, but brave, thinking adults. They need help and support, not condescension.
Salam Dear Reader,
Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
Helping our brothers and sisters who accept Islam is something that we all should be keen on doing.
However, we need to understand when and how to help, and when to give our brothers and sisters the space they need to avoid pushing or overwhelming them.
Each person has his/her individual needs, so one should be smart and wise enough to know how to ask and when to ask if the brother/sister needs help.
Allah Almighty says:
“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction” [Quran: Chapter 16, Verse 125]
There are a few common aspects that we can consider:
1- Many organizations online and offline provide free Quran and free New Muslim Guides.
Try to get these resources in the language that your friend needs and give it to them.
2- Ask your friend if he/she needs help with understanding how to pray, and try to practice together.
Be a Good Friend!
3- Be a good companion and try to be available whenever they need you.
4- Introduce your friend to other converts– if you do know some in your area- or to other fellow Muslims who could assist, befriend and provide any support or help needed.
5- Some of our brothers and sisters end up having tense relations with their family members.
Try to open your home for them and be part of their family until they restore relations with their own family.
Also make dua that Allah softens their families’ hearts and that they accept our brothers/sisters decisions and won’t cut relations with them.
Offer Her Hijabs, But Don’t Push Her
6- If it’s a sister, try to share some of your hijabs and/or dresses and abayas with her if and when she needs them.
Many sisters who convert wish to wear hijabs and dresses, but they don’t know where to get them from.
So, either share items from your own wardrobe or go shopping with her.
Spend and share what you love with your brother/sister. Allah Almighty says:
“Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allah] from that which you love. And whatever you spend – indeed, Allah is Knowing of it.” [Quran: Chapter 3, Verse 92]
But, don’t pressure her to wear hijab if she’s not ready yet.
Help Them Find Reliable Sources of Learning
7- You can recommend useful online resources on praying, knowing Allah and His Names and Attributes, the blessed seerah of the Messenger and all the beautiful, inspirational and useful Islamic resources available online.
Ask your friend when and where to send the materials on so that you won’t flood their personal emails/phone messages with many notifications.
8- If you do know a scholar, a learned person, an ustadh/ustadha directly, try to introduce them to the brother/sisters so that they would be in touch with a knowledgeable person who can answer any fiqhi (legislative) question they may have.
Remember They Are Not Children
9- Avoid treating them like they’re children or like you know better than them or that you’re in any way a better Muslim.
Allah Almighty says:
“So do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him.” [Quran 53:32]
“Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who strays from His way, and He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.” [Quran 6:117]
“Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” [Quran 49:13]
So, it is Allah who knows who is struggling harder on His path, who is most sincere and who is most God-fearing.
We only aid and advise one another…
The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those – Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” [Quran 9:71]
Make Things Easy
10- Most importantly, like the Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) said, give glad tidings, make things easy and don’t make matters hard on others…
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
“Make things easy and do not make them difficult, cheer the people up by conveying glad tidings to them and do not repulse (them).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Also remember that when you do help, you’re not doing anyone any favor.
This is our job as Muslims, to help one another and be in each other’s aid.
This is the core of our mission and belief.
I hope this helps answer your question.
Salam and please keep in touch.
(From Ask About Islam archives)
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