How to Deal with a Broken Family and Stress - Part 1 | About Islam
Home > Ask About Islam > How to Deal with a Broken Family and Stress – Part 1

How to Deal with a Broken Family and Stress – Part 1

Questioner

Ahmed

Reply Date

Dec 09, 2016

Question

Alsalamu Alaikom, I have an issue regarding family matters which I'm hoping you could enlighten me on. The question is going to be a little long because of the details, but please bare with me. For as long as I could recall, my parents had a terrible and abusive relationship, which ended in a divorce after 24 years of marriage. My father was always hostile towards my mother which made me lack respect towards him (between me and myself, I have never raised my voice at him) and he would always travel out of the country for business ventures, so I never really felt like I had a father. Because of her unhealthy relationship with my father, my mother was psychologically distressed which caused an alteration in her character. After being submissive, she became aggressive and it also made her an authoritarian figure (she often tells my younger sister that she's the only one who should have a personality in the house). As years went by, she became more and more intolerant of anyone who disagreed with her and anytime I try to negotiate or disagree with her, she prays that I would lead a sorrowful life in this world and the next. I swear by Allah that I'm not disrespectful to her, she's just intolerant when I formulate my opinion. Going back to her issue with my father, I believe that they have destroyed us. I have an older sister who has become an awful person to the extent that she curses out my parents as she has no respect for neither of them. My other two younger siblings are never get along, as I was with my sister, and I don't even talk to my older sister anymore. Sometimes I feel like moving to another state, but at the same time I don't want to leave my mother by herself, but I just can't handle the stress on myself anymore. I'm a premedical student and I feel that my performance in school has deteriorated from the distress that I'm witnessing everyday and I really don't know what to do anymore. Please advise me on what you think is the best solution in this case. Also, would Allah be displeased with me because of my mother? I swear by Him that I didn't do anything wrong such as talking back or raising my voice at my mother. She has just become intolerant of everything. Now, my finals are around the corner and I can't fully concentrate on my work and of course she's supplicating that I would fail my exams which causes me more distress. Other than the fact that my family structure is completely destroyed and all of my family members despise one another, I often have a sense of despair because of her supplications. I tried my best to be an obedient son, but nothing is working. I'm sorry for the lengthy question, but I really didn't feel like talking to anyone personally about this.

Consultant

Answer


About Sadaf Farooqi

Sadaf Farooqi is an author, blogger and freelance writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. To date, Sadaf has authored over 300 original articles, most of which can be accessed on her blog, "Sadaf's Space" (sadaffarooqi.wordpress.com). She has recently started self-publishing her past articles as non-fiction Islamic books, which are available on Amazon and Kindle (www.amazon.com/author/sadaffarooqi)


find out more!