Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Afraid of My Own Faith, Can You Help Me?

07 August, 2016
Q Salaam Alaikum. I'm confused and I'm somewhat afraid of my own faith. I was born into a Muslim family, but in America, we are very modernized. I don't know how to explain this very well, but I'm going to try my best. Growing up I wanted to be like the people on tv, I never truly learned much about my faith and I know very little Arabic. My parents pray and read Quran and they seem pretty good with all that, but they never really taught me anything. They had me go to an Arabic school where I would learn Quran on the weekends, but I never understood any of it. I just memorized words. I'm 19 now, and I don't really pray unless it's Ramadan, but even then, I'm very lazy and have no motivation. I'm so hooked on these new American trends and I'm afraid to face that fact that I'm doing wrong. I don't date or do anything bad like that, but I listen to music and just what "normal" teenagers in America do. I know listening to music is haram, and reading the Quran will make me realize all the haram things I am doing and I am terrified of that. I feel like if I don't read it I am better off because I don't know exactly what it is that I am doing wrong. But I also know thinking this way is just as bad. I want to be better, I really do, but I need help. I tried praying, but when I do I have really bad/inappropriate thoughts during and I don't know how to prevent that. It's not like I always have bad thoughts, but as soon as I begin to pray they just come up. Also, I don't know how to make duaa during prayer. And sometimes in my room when I want to ask God for forgiveness I don't know how. Because I don't speak Arabic, I feel like talking to God in English doesn't count. Does it? Can the only time I talk to God be during prayer? Or can I do this anytime? When I pray I don't really feel anything and I'm guessing it's because I don't understand what it is I am saying. Once I begin to read the Quran insha Allah, can I read an English version or should it be the actual Arabic one with translations? Whenever I try to get help with my problems everyone tells me to pray and I'll be fine, I don't want an answer like that. I won't be fine if I just pray because I'm not doing it right. I am not understanding anything that I am doing. Once I learn how to pray correctly and read Quran, if I still listen to music or watch tv, will I go to hell? I'm not a bad person, but I'm afraid of going to hell. Sometimes I get so frustrated I don't want to live anymore, but I don't want to die because I feel like I'm going to go to hell. I don't even know if this is making any sense, I just need help.

Answer

Salam Dear Lea,

Thank you very much for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

First of all, you need to understand that Allah is Beneficent and All-Merciful. He is our Creator, He is Wise and All-knowing; and hence He knows our strengths as well as our weaknesses. He has clearly stated in His Quran that He does not burden a soul beyond its capacity; and He means only ease for us and not difficulty:

{God does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear: in his favor shall be whatever good he does, and against him whatever evil he does.} (Quran 2:286)

{God wills that you shall have ease, and does not will you to suffer hardship…} (Quran 2:185)

In fact Islam is not meant to be a troublesome religion: it is an easy religion. So relax and take it easy.

You have said: “I want to become a better Muslim, but I’m afraid. I want to read the Quran, but I know the truth that comes with it will scare me.”

Ads by Muslim Ad Network

The important point is that you are a Muslim, or else you would not have wished to be a better Muslim. And if you really and sincerely want to be a better Muslim, Allah will guide you and help you, InshaAllah.

The only condition is that your wish to be a better Muslim should be accompanied by action on your part. Which consists mainly of a sincere effort on your part to obey Allah’s commandments and lead a good life here on earth. There is no need for any anxiety or fear.

You should be hopeful of Allah’s Mercy and Guidance that it is meant for all His creation including YOU.

It appears that you are under the impression that only Arabic-speaking people can be good Muslims. This is not true. Allah is the Creator Supreme of all races, nations and languages; and so He knows all languages. You may tell Allah about your problems in any language, anytime, anywhere; and seek His help and guidance.

People usually have some confusion about Salah and Du’a. Salah is ritual prayer i.e the five times’ daily prayer, the Jumu’ah prayer, Eid prayer as well as the Sunnah prayers.

Du’a is supplication, which you may render anytime. So don’t worry if you do not know the proper Arabic wording of your supplications. You need not take the trouble of translating your supplications into Arabic under the impression that Allah will not answer them if rendered in English.

It is important for a Muslim to read the Quran in Arabic, and so you have to learn it. But at the same time, it is fine if you use a good translation to understand the meaning of the verses.

You need to realize that our basic nature is open to both the good and the evil influences coming from our surroundings. And the inappropriate thoughts that arise in your mind are from these influences.

Indeed it is our spiritual commitment that can really save us from the evil consequences of these inappropriate thoughts.

Regular Salah – five times a day – provides us a shield against evil. It helps us keep our body and mind clean and to have our lives oriented toward Allah Almighty.

If you feel utterly helpless before your evil inclinations and inappropriate thoughts, you need to sincerely ask Allah for protection from Satan; because Satan is the originator of evil thoughts and deeds:

{If a suggestion from Satan assail thy (mind), seek refuge with Allah. For He hears and knows (all things).} (Quran 7:200)

Also you should not allow the inappropriate thoughts to be an obsession with you. You can avoid this only by concentrating on your acts of worship: by praying, fasting etc. For Allah Almighty in His Holy Quran says what means:

{Convey [unto others] whatever of this divine writ has been revealed unto thee, and be constant in prayer: for, behold, prayer restrains [man] from loathsome deeds and from all that runs counter to reason; and remembrance of God is indeed the greatest [good]. And God knows all that you do.} (Quran 29:45)

You also ask about music and watching TV:

It is quite natural for a young man of today, especially for one who lives in the west, to be exposed to and to some extent, enamored of the fads and fashions of modern life. But remember that most of what goes for western music today tends to lead youngsters to an irresponsible life of reckless abandon.

On the question of music there are two schools of thought among Islamic scholars. One group condemns all music (with the singular exception of the duff or tambourine) as haram, while the other group thinks that only music containing un-Islamic ideas such as atheistic, polytheistic or immoral themes, or in some way associated with those things is clearly prohibited.

According to Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior scholar at the Islamic Institute Toronto, Canada, the latter view is “more consistent with the general nature of Islam, which is undoubtedly a complete way of life that caters to all of the genuine human instincts and needs within permissible limits. Thus to say that all music is forbidden in Islam does not seem to agree with the balanced approach of Islam to issues of human life and experience.”

The foregoing means in other words, that all forms of music that contain pagan, sensual or “sexciting” messages, and verge on the indecent and the immoral are forbidden. And one may note that most of the music popular these days among youngsters belong to the forbidden category.

TV is part of the modern media, which provide both information and entertainment; information by way of news and educational programs and entertainment by way of feature films and videos.

There is nothing wrong with watching TV for information; but as for entertainment we need to differentiate between what is moral and immoral. From the Islamic point of view an action is to be judged on the basis of the intention behind it:

Umar ibn al-Khattab reported that he heard Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) say:

“Actions are but by intentions and every man will have only what he intended. So whoever emigrated for Allah and His Messenger, then his emigration was for Allah and His Messenger. And whoever emigrated to attain something of this world or to marry a woman, then his emigration was for whatever reason he emigrated.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî and Sahîh Muslim]

We may apply the same principle here: if the intention behind watching TV is to acquire knowledge or to have decent entertainment that does not interfere with the moral life of a Muslim, it is permissible.

Muslims are not required to lead an extremely constricted life: Allah Almighty allows them all the entertainment of this life that is pure and wholesome. We need to understand that everything that is prohibited by Islam is really undesirable and harmful.

Clear your mind of all the wrong notions of Allah and His Religion, and have a positive approach towards all the good things of this world.

May Allah guide you and help you in your quest to be a better Muslim!

Salam.

 

About Professor Shahul Hameed
Professor Shahul Hameed is an Islamic consultant. He also held the position of the President of the Kerala Islamic Mission, Calicut, India. He is the author of three books on Islam published in the Malayalam language. His books are on comparative religion, the status of women, and science and human values.